We see it promised all the time: that perfect match is out there for you. Maybe they’re just a click away on a dating app. And you’ll know when you meet them because they will check every single box you’ve decided for love compatibility.
But this perfect match has one little catch: they probably don’t exist.
A healthy relationship takes work, but also, dating requires a lot of compromise. And that compromise starts when we consider who we are going to date as our close enough to perfect partner.
In an advice column that has since gone viral for its succinct wisdom, dating advice columnist and podcaster Dan Savage famously said, “There is no settling down without some settling for. There is no long-term relationship without not just putting up with your partner’s flaws, but accepting them and then pretending they aren’t there. And we like to call it, in my house, ‘paying the price of admission.”
So what can you do?
Don’t compromise on the big stuff
Diversify your support system
In fact, researchers are saying that having friendships is absolutely vital to having a healthy relationship. It puts a lot of pressure on someone if they need to be your perfect match, your co-parent, your friend, but then also your surfing buddy, your tennis partner, your cooking class partner… you get the idea. Enjoy common interests with your partner. For the rest, call up your best bud instead.
Take stock of what you’re really looking for
Take an honest assessment about what you bring to the table
Defeat your dating FOMO monster with gratitude
And lastly, remember that you are also asking the same
You’ve decided to finally put yourself out there on dating apps. Your profile’s pretty solid and you’re swiping regularly, but somehow you’re not getting many
The dating world has changed dramatically over the last twenty years, with many of us turning to online dating in order to find our perfect