Being in love is a wonderful thing. From the first dates with your belly full of butterflies to the inseparable mates for life stage, love brings so much happiness into our lives. But do you know what the stages of love are?
Yup, there are different stages of falling in love that most couples tend to hit. Of course, no relationship is the same, but just as the moon grows into its full shape over the lunar month, so does our deep connection with someone special. Kind of beautiful, right? So, today, we’re going to dive into the big question, what are the phases of love! But first, what even is love?
What is love?
The five stages of love
Knowing the stages of love and what defines them helps you navigate the ups and downs of your relationship. No relationship is perfect straight away, and it takes time, patience and compromise to go from the honeymoon stage to the committed, deep attachment stage.
These stages come around naturally as you grow with your partner. So, let’s take a look at the five stages of love and how you can embrace them to create a satisfying relationship.
Dating stage
How to navigate the dating stage of love
The euphoric stage of love is often pretty easy, as real-world issues and obligations aren’t really on our minds. We are in a love bubble. However, it is useful to know the difference between love and lust. Lust is all about sexual attraction, and love relies on emotional compatibility and a more intimate connection.
When navigating the dating stage of love, reflect on your feelings and what your intentions are in the relationship. Do you feel obsessed with your partner, and is the relationship mainly physical? If so, it may be defined by lust rather than love.
Honeymoon stage
After the dating stage, couples tend to fall into the more relaxed, yet still pretty exciting, honeymoon stage. This stage can sometimes last around two years and involves a deeper connection with your partner. And just like the dating stage, the honeymoon stage is all dopamine and hot dates.
In this stage, couples are still getting to know one another and tend to find everything about their partner fascinating and romantic. Everything seems pretty perfect, and you are dreaming of a future with this person. Unlike the dating stage, you feel more comfortable and secure in the relationship and with the other person. You are spending all your time with them, and it feels as if they are a part of you.
How to navigate the honeymoon stage of love
The honeymoon stage is often pretty amazing, but there are some challenges involved and ways you can ensure that your happiness is protected and the relationship is being built on.
Be sure to have open and honest discussions with your partner about the future of the relationship. Do you share common goals and see yourself together in ten years’ time? Does your life plan and your partner’s life plan match up?
It is also crucial to balance your new romance with other aspects of your life to avoid codependency. Make sure you are still exploring your hobbies and interests by yourself and spending time with your friends and family.
Uncertainty stage
The honeymoon stage doesn’t last forever. You may wish it did, but it is actually necessary to transition from the honeymoon stage to a deeper attachment stage to make your relationship last a long time. After the fireworks comes the calm, along with a more realistic view of your partner.
The majority of relationships face an uncertainty stage when the high levels of dopamine and lust cool down a little. The whirlwind love full of passionate lovemaking, spontaneous dates, and exploration fizzles away to make room for a new stage. It is a bit like taking your rose-tinted glasses off to see your partner for who they truly are – warts and all.
Aspects of your partner may start to irritate you. You know how you thought it was super cute how relaxed your partner is? How, when they rolled up for a date twenty minutes late, you found it endearing how they seemed to run by their own whacky time system? Yeah, this will start to get on your nerves. You see them as unreliable now, not a maverick who beats to their own drum.
The real world hits, and the everydayness of life takes away the romantic bubble you have been living in. This may cause you and your partner to drift apart as you simply live different lives. Or, it may cause you to feel bored in your relationship and uncertain about the future of your love. This stage usually occurs two or three years into the relationship and may last up to a year. However, it is usually a short stage of love as a breakup may occur, or the adjustment stage comes in quickly to deal with the uncertainty.
How to navigate the uncertainty stage of love
This is the most difficult stage in the relationship, but you are able to work with your partner to overcome it. Again, honest and open communication allows you to manage the problems that come with the uncertainty stage.
Now is the time to accept the flaws in your partner that were previously hidden during the honeymoon stage and work on compromising together to make love flourish.
Adjustment stage
Many couples will break up during the uncertainty stage, and this is just because they have realized that they are not compatible in the long term. However, a lot of couples will adjust to this new phase of their relationship and make it work.
The adjustment stage is defined by a realistic view of the relationship, with compromise and planning being key. You and your partner will look at the issues that arose during the uncertainty stage and work through them together. Here, you cross over from passionate love to committed love, where feelings of intimacy and true connection develop.
How to navigate the adjustment stage of love
To navigate the adjustment stage with your partner, it is crucial to openly communicate and spend time working out what you want from the future of your relationship. Sexual intimacy may have declined during the uncertainty stage as the initial spark has cooled down. If so, new ways of exploring your sexuality and deepening your connection will help you get that chemistry back into your relationship.
Commitment stage
Once you and your partner have come through the adjustment stage, a deep level of love occurs, defined by nurture and stability. The final stage of love is the commitment stage, which involves the development of a long-lasting bond with your partner. Here, you and your partner sync up together and know that you have each other’s back through thick and thin.
The commitment stage is where the work you put in during the adjustment stage pays off. You know your partner deeply, and you both know what to do to support one another as you journey through life together. This stage will often seem like the reward for the patience, compromise, and understanding you have shown one another throughout the years, and you are extremely comfortable with one another.
Interestingly, there are hormones in play that enhance the commitment stage in a relationship. A 2020 study of newlyweds found that oxytocin and vasopressin help keep romantic love alive, with these hormones working to bring stability, commitment and bonding into your relationship.
How to navigate the commitment stage of love
To embrace the commitment stage of love, ensure that you are paying attention to the wants and needs of your partner. It can be easy to fall into a routine during this time, so do things to keep the spark! Dates, weekends away and new experiences solidify the bond between you and your partner and maintain the spark of love.
Watch as your love grows during the five stages of love
There are so many different types of relationships out there, and everyone loves their partner in a unique way. However, these five stages of love can be identified in most relationships, and it is crucial to be aware of them as you and your partner grow together.
Celebrate your love, and know that each stage allows for a deeper understanding of one another, helping you form a partnership built to last.
