If there is something that serial daters all fear, it is The Ick. It always seems to come out of nowhere and dampen even the fieriest of romances. If you are reading this article, you’re probably here because you are desperately trying to understand why you have The Ick, and what you can do to get rid of it!
First things first, don’t stress! Dating is an adventure and there are loads of ups and downs to it. Most people will experience The Ick from time to time, and it is up to them how to deal with it. But, we want to give you a little bit of advice when it comes to The Ick.
What actually is The Ick?
The Ick is a dating term that became popular on the reality TV show,Love Island.It refers to that feeling you get when you are dating someone and then suddenly feel cringe. You may have been seeing the person for a few weeks and really fancied them at first! Then, one day, they do something that turns your stomach.They will kiss you on your forehead or try to hold your hand and all you can think is ‘ew’. They will compliment you on your hair or outfit and you will just…. cringe. Why is it that just last week their compliments made your head spin?
The Ick is such a strange feeling when it comes to romantic partners because you can never see it coming! One day you can’t get them out of your head, and then the next day: EW! They suddenly become the most cringey person on the planet and you don’t understand what you ever liked about them.
It sounds harsh, right? Normally, when people get The Ick they try to push it to the back of their mind believing it will probably go away and that they are just being mean. But, it is not your fault! The Ick happens to the best of us and when it comes to healthy relationships, it isn’t the best sign…
Why do we get The Ick?
Nobody really knows why we get The Ick. You may have thought that this person was the love of your life, and then The Ick appears. Most people agree, though, that it is all down to our intuition.
When you meet someone, you don’t really know them. This means that your heart and head can get a bit carried away, believing that this person is your soulmate and that you were meant to be together.
Then, you get to know the real person you are dating, and actually, they aren’t that great! This can be down to you and your preconceptions about relationships, or, it could be because you didn’t spend enough time with them to discover how annoying you find them.
Whatever the reason, The Ick is our intuition telling us that the person you are with isn’t right for you. This person might be good on paper, but in reality, you don’t see yourself being with them at all. Your gut instinct is telling you that this is not the person for you, and your intuition is almost always right.
Before you act, make sure it definitely is The Ick!
Honestly, if you think it is The Ick, it probably is. It is a visceral, gut reaction that you can’t really explain any other way. No matter what you do, you can’t imagine your feelings towards them ever-changing.
However, some people might think they have The Ick when actually they just find a few things about their partner annoying. Despite this, you still have hope for the future of the relationship and to work through it with them.
Before you decide what to do about The Ick, make sure it actually is The Ick!
Can The Ick ever go away?
Unfortunately, once you’ve got The Ick, it can be pretty hard to get rid of. It is your gut reaction to a person, and no amount of remembering their great traits and spending time with them can shake that feeling off!
You may wish to try and work through The Ick, but when it comes to healthy relationships, it may be a lost cause. Your emotional needs will take a back seat and you will kind of just be enduring discomfort.
Sounds horrible, right?
So, should you keep dating?
Okay, now it is time for the big question! When you get The Ick, should you keep dating?
To be honest, probably no. This may not be the answer you are looking for, but it is the answer that you need. The Ick can be a useful tool for recognizing things that may indicate larger issues around personality or values; for example, if you get an ick after seeing someone be rude to a waiter or retail worker, it’s probably worth noting.
At the end of the day, The Ick is all about attraction and the lack thereof, and when the attraction isn’t there, what is the point of the relationship?! A happy and healthy relationship isn’t about feeling discomfort and embarrassment. You need to be with someone who you love and respect, with their presence bringing you happiness and fun.
The Ick means you aren’t compatible and your intuition is telling you this. Listen to your gut, okay! It never lies.