Are you scared of dating or of making a move or getting into a new relationship? If you’re a bit apprehensive about dating, the first thing you need to know is that you’re not the only one! The chances are, you might even end up on a date with a person who’s as nervous as you are about it all. Equally, even if you already know how to make the first move and what to do on a first date, you might simply not be ready for a relationship. If any of that sounds familiar, you’re in the right place! Read on to find out what you can do to stop being scared of dating.
Scared of Dating? Here Are 7 Helpful Tips:
1. Recall happy memories
What have your dating experiences been like up until this point? They’re certainly influencing the way you now feel about dating in general. Maybe you had some bad past experiences, but take a second to actively recall all the good ones! Surely you have had a few lovely conversations when you felt attractive and confident. If you associate dating with feeling sad instead, you might even be subconsciously convincing yourself to feel sad for no real reason. Associating dating with good, happy feelings instead is going to help you on your way to beat that dreaded dating anxiety. Keep in mind that dating is supposed to make you feel good. It’s a great feeling to be excited about a date instead of anxious!
2. Give yourself enough time
Just like many things in life, timing also plays a role in dating! And maybe you’re simply not ready for a relationship right now. Getting into a new relationship can seem scary, especially after a bad experience or breakup. If you’re not really scared of making a move but can’t quite put your finger on what’s bothering you about dating, you might be scared of what it will lead to. Give yourself enough time to heal after a bad breakup, even if it’s already been a while. You don’t have to jump into a new relationship right away. Be honest with yourself and take things slow. You can still go on dates, but don’t feel rushed to get into a new relationship. And don’t lie to yourself about the connection you feel with your date! If they’re not right for you, put yourself out there again and try to meet someone else. Don’t ever settle just because you don’t want to be alone any longer.
3. Have a positive attitude
It’s so important to stay optimistic and open-minded when dating! Try not to let your concerns and judgment influence your date. Try to be positive, open, and hopeful instead. Your first impressions and assumptions could make you miss all the great things about your date. Notice the interesting opinions that the two of you share, as well as all the good jokes and laughs.
4. Stay rational
There’s no denying that love and relationships are a pretty important part of all of our lives. Because of that, it’s easy to start overthinking… Sure, your next date might not work out and you could get rejected, but that’s pretty much as bad as it gets! Although being rejected is never a nice feeling, it’s a part of dating. Whenever you feel upset about a bad date, remember the 5×5 rule: if it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it! Keep in mind that some dates are simply not supposed to go anywhere so that you can eventually go on a date with the right person. You might have to kiss a few frogs along the way before your dream date comes along!
5. Prepare for a date
Are you bursting with confidence when you show up on a date? If not, there’s something that you can do! Try to properly prepare for a date by getting into the right mindset beforehand. Don’t just make sure that you look great, but that you feel great as well. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself and arrive on your date feeling confident and positive, such as blasting your favorite playlist, rocking your best outfit or trying out some power poses.
6. Put the spotlight on your date
You might get caught up in your own thoughts instead of what your date is saying, but try to avoid that if you can! Focus on your date, not on yourself, and take in their words and their body language. It’s no wonder that you’re scared if you’re constantly focusing on your own opinions, concerns and thoughts. Try not to overthink things so much and really prioritize getting to know your date. Make sure to remember what they say, especially when they share their thoughts, feelings, and interests with you. This date might be the start of a new relationship, so listen to your potential future partner attentively.
7. Make sure you’re having fun
If you’re dating to find your soulmate, you’re probably going to get disappointed a lot. Why? Because you’ll always have your end goal in mind and whenever you feel that you’re not on the right date, you’ll become frustrated. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your goal (on the contrary!) but you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself and on your dates. While you should still date with your goal in mind, don’t think about it too much. Focus on a short-term goal instead, which is to have a fun time. This will relieve the pressure, and you’ll be less likely to go home disappointed.
To sum that all up, there’s nothing to be scared of! Sure, it won’t all be plain sailing but that’s part of the journey. Put yourself out there, be brave and don’t be afraid to make the first move when you meet someone you like. Good luck!
Ana Vakos
Ana Vakos has been a writer from a very young age and she now specializes in dating and relationship topics. Writing brings her great joy, especially if it can help someone find new love or improve an existing relationship.
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