Imagine this: you’ve been talking to someone for a while now and you sort of like them, but you’re not sure they like you, even though they do act like it sometimes. So you decide to hope for the best and tell them how you really feel – brave move. Turns out, they were just being nice and hit you with the line, ‘you’re like my best friend’. Now, that hurts. Let’s make sure it never happens again. It’s not always easy to understand what someone means, especially when it comes to knowing whether they like you or not. Well, just look for these easy-to-spot signs to know the difference when someone is just being nice or really flirting with you.
Not Sure if They’re Flirting?
Look for these signs to know whether someone is into you or just being nice.
1) They try to be around you a lot
We always try to be around things that we want, right? Well, it’s just the same when it comes to when we like someone.
If the person you’re into is somehow always around you, tries to talk to you specifically, or makes any excuse just to be near you, chances are, they like you too. When we’re into someone, it makes us happy; it’s in our human nature to chase what gives us happiness.
But it doesn’t necessarily mean every person that tries to be around you is into you. Sometimes they’re just trying to get something from you for their own advantage. Always know what someone’s intentions are before chasing them.
2) They go out of their way to spend time with you
People are always busy, whether it be with their studies, work or just taking some time for themselves. It’s hard for people to make time for others. So you’d better know that if someone is going out of their way to spend time with you, you’re special.
Don’t get your hopes up too soon, though. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they come out with you whenever you call them just because they’re free; it means they drop everything they’re doing even if it is important, so they can spend time with you. This is because they want to get closer to you and get to know you better, to see if the two of you are compatible.
3) They are more comfortable around you
An article from The Atlantic about affective presence claims that “People are not necessarily open to novel ideas, so in order to speak your ideas, you need to feel safe”. It shows that when people are more open and comfortable around someone, it represents a level of trust and affection.
As humans, we don’t feel comfortable around just anyone; we have to feel safe around the person to get to that comfy level. If you feel that someone is more open with you and just being themselves around you compared to how they are around others, it’s most likely they’re into you. If this feels familiar and people usually feel comfy around you, know that it’s a personality trait that you yourself have developed, so pat yourself on the back.
4) They notice small changes
This is a big one. Let’s be real here, we don’t really care if someone did their eyebrows or bought a new pair of Nikes, nor do we notice the small changes in others. But if someone you like acknowledges small details about you, like if you changed your hairstyle a bit or got some new nails, they’re very interested.
If they notice small details that others don’t, it shows that they’re checking you out and like every little thing about you.
5) Their pupils get bigger
Nope, this isn’t just some mumbo-jumbo. It’s been scientifically proven that when someone looks at something they desire, their pupils dilate or become bigger.
According to Healthline, when you see something you like — be it a gift from a friend or handsome passerby — your sympathetic nervous system kicks in. This is the same system that kicks in during times of alarm, triggering your fight-or-flight response. More precisely, it’s because of oxytocin and dopamine, the “love hormones”. They have an effect on pupil size.
6) They want you to meet their friends
If this happens, it seems like they’re serious about you! They don’t want you to just be some tiny part of their life. After a little while, they want you to meet their friends and those they care about!
Although this is mainly just because they want the both of you to get along, it’s also so they can get their friends’ validation on whether you’re good for them or not. To them, it could be even more important than meeting the parents, so don’t forget to be your best self.