Unrequited love is one of the biggest heartbreaks of life. Who can not feel sad when they think of Gatsby staring at the green light every night, waiting for Daisy to fall back in love with him? Maybe you have also been there, filled with hope and love for someone who doesn’t even know you exist.
Ah, if only Gatsby could access the #Dating blog in the Roaring Twenties! Because we are here to help the romantic souls of the world find their perfect match and get the romance they deserve! Today, we will figure out how to get someone to fall in love with you with sciencey tips and real-life insights.
But firstly, what is love? Let’s look at what love is (and what it is not) so you can figure out if your feelings for this person are true.
Love vs. lust
How to get someone to fall in love with you
If you are genuinely interested in someone and want to explore a romantic connection with them, we are here to help! But we must say that you can’t force someone to love you if they simply don’t want to. You can do everything you can to get your crush’s attention, but if they aren’t interested, the romance won’t go anywhere.
Focus on self love
RuPaul said it best when he said, ‘If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?’ Of course, we aren’t saying that those with self-esteem issues are not worthy of love—far from it! Rather, we are saying that to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship, it is helpful to reflect on your attitude towards yourself and if you are showing yourself enough love.
Confidence has always been seen as a desirable trait, and a 2002 study found that both men and women rate it as very attractive. By working on your self-esteem, you can move forward on your search for love and connect with your crush!
Being comfortable in your own skin is not only attractive to others but also helps you know your worth. As you explore your connection with your crush, truly loving yourself allows you to protect your emotional needs and avoid any toxic, one-sided romances. Plus, if things don’t go as planned, you are able to pick yourself up and get back on track.
Get to know your crush
Can your crush do no wrong? Do you think that they are perfect in every way and can’t bear it if anyone tells you otherwise?
If so, you may need to get to know them. Sorry to tell you this, but they probably aren’t as perfect as you think. We often develop crushes because we are in love with the idea of the person rather than the person themselves. So, to ensure that we actually like them and want a relationship with them, we need to discover more about who they really are!
Spend time talking to your crush and let them get to know you. Talk about your dreams and fears, and let them tell you about theirs. Doing so will allow love to grow, helping you develop an authentic connection with them.
You may also want to check out the 115 online dating questions/topics prepared for you. These questions can be the key to emotional intimacy. Worth a try, right?!
Use the right body language
Embrace their passions
We are fickle humans, and we love to talk about ourselves. So, to get your crush to like you back, ask them questions about their passions and let them chat away! Everyone loves it when someone pays attention to their interests, and doing so will make you look like a really good listener.
If your crush is big into indie cinema, ask them about the new film showing at the theatre! Or maybe they love painting. Start a conversation about what art projects they have been doing recently.
But, if their passions are your yucks, you might want to avoid this. It is really easy to tell when someone is bored in a conversation…
Be yourself
Turning from a shy and soft girl to a smoking, leather-jacket-wearing woman got Sandy her man at the end of Grease, but life isn’t like that classic movie. And not just because we aren’t belting out 10/10 hits with our weirdly middle-aged-looking high school mates.
You should never change yourself to attract your crush, as true love is built on authenticity and trust. If you pretend to be someone you are not and end up with your crush, you will need to keep up the act for a while, which sounds pretty exhausting!
Don’t shy away from showing your truth to the person you like, as opening up to someone else allows you to develop a meaningful connection with them.
Don’t play games
You probably know that toxic phase, ‘treat them mean, keep them keen.’ The mantra for many unhealthy relationships, we here at #Dating roll our eyes every time we hear it. Love games don’t work, and they pave the way for a relationship full of inequalities, anxieties, and doubts.
It may be tempting to act like you don’t like your crush to save face or attract them, but doing so runs the risk of them thinking that you aren’t actually into them, which isn’t a great start to any romance. Be kind to them, help them out, and pay them compliments! People like nice people. It is that simple.
Don’t force it
Love is a natural and genuine emotion. We cannot trick ourselves into loving someone, and we can’t trick someone into loving us! Forcing a romantic connection will never work. Plus, if you have to force something, it probably isn’t there to begin with.
There are loads of different factors that influence falling in love. From where they are in their life to their previous relationships, there is so much brewing within someone that affects their romantic connections. They may simply not be ready to love someone right now, and that is okay!
You will find the perfect person for you; it just may not be your crush.
Be realistic
Films, books, and TV shows are filled with will-they-won’t-they dramas. And, of course, these narratives often end with the couple finally getting together – against all odds!
We love our rom-coms here, but we also love to be realistic. Sometimes, someone you like just doesn’t like you back. This can be really difficult to deal with but know that it doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love.
To navigate this, here are our top tips on how to stop being in love with someone you can’t have:
- Do things that boost your ego. Go dancing at your favorite club, or plan that mountain hiking adventure you have always wanted to do! Focus on you.
- Try to distance yourself from the person you are crushing on. Unfollow them on social media or limit how much you check your feed.
- Acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to be sad. If the whole crying into a box of chocolates thing is for you, embrace it!
- Hang out with your mates and go on dates.
- Practice gratitude journaling. Write down everything in your life that you are grateful for right now.
So, is it possible to get someone to fall in love with you?
Our tips on how to get someone to have a crush on you back allow you to explore the connection you have with someone special and get the wheels in motion for romance. However, if the person doesn’t want a relationship with you, there is nothing you can do (cue Miranda from SATC spreading those life-changing words, ‘he’s just not that into you.’)
But, you know what? That is okay! It may feel like this person is the only one for you right now, but trust us, that feeling will go, and you will find your perfect soulmate when the time is right!
