How To Calm Your Video Date Nerves

Woman on a video call smiling and waving at her laptop screen

Just when you thought you’d never find someone you like, you finally met someone like-minded online and they suggested a video date.

Great! Except, you’ve never been on virtual dates before. Sure, we’ve all done plenty of video calls for work, and with friends even. But virtual dating!?

If you’re nervous about your first video date, you’re not alone. A physical first date is nerve-wracking but a video first date is a whole new ball game.

But hey, the good news is, you’ve already done half of the work by setting up the date. Now we’re here to help you with the other half, and tell you how to online date for the first time and to keep calm during that date.

10 ways to calm your video date nerves:

1. Find a quiet, private spot

Make sure your location is quiet and away from crowds so you don’t get interrupted or distracted.

2. Make space mentally

Set aside any work or personal worries. Close or minimize other tabs on your laptop, and focus on the video chat window.

3. Get your AV sorted

Do an audio and video check. Charge your headphones, check your camera and clear up anything behind you that you don’t want your date to see.

4. Dress up!

We know, it’s tempting to be in your sweats. But dress up! Wear a nice dressy top at least because making an effort is sexy and shows you care.

5. Prepare a list of questions

It’s not an interview but it never hurts to be prepared. Have some ice breaker questions ready!

6. Have a cheat sheet

They can’t see your screen, right? Open up a document with good conversation starters. Don’t read from it, but use it if your mind goes blank.

7. Plan something in common

If you have a common interest, ask them to prepare something related. For example, both of you bring your favorite desserts and talk about them. Otherwise, there are plenty of fun virtual date ideas you could try out! 

8. Set the mood

Put on soft chill lo-fi beats and light a candle. You can even turn down the lighting a little but not too much!

9. Have a drink ready

Sometimes you may need some liquid courage to relax. Or even just have a glass of water on standby – drinking from it during the date helps you pace your speech.

10. Be prepared that it will still be awkward

There might be silences, lags, or you might speak over each other. It’s fine, breathe! They are probably just as nervous as you are. Relax, take it easy and just enjoy the process.

Sarah C.

Sarah C.

Sarah C. is a writer from Singapore, who runs on caffeine. She loves a good rom-com and considers 10 Things I Hate About You her all-time favorite. Her dating pet peeves are those who are rude to waiters, and those who can't stop looking at their phones.


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