Oh no, you’ve broken your number one rule of hookups: never catch feelings. That simple sexual desire turned into something more complicated and you can’t stop thinking about the person. It feels weird because it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a hookup and now you’re afraid of what they might think or whether the feeling is mutual.
Hmm… so you’re in a bit of a pickle here, but stay calm, we’re here to help. There are 2 things you can do: try to emotionally detach and get over them OR, if you feel like it could work out, consider turning it into a relationship. Here’s everything you need for either of them. Whatever you choose to do, remember to stay respectful and keep the other person’s feelings in mind.
3 ways to emotionally detach from a hookup
- Figure out what your intentions are
Sure, at first it will seem like you’re into them because of how they look or maybe you liked their personality. For most people that just isn’t the case.
According to Women’s Health Magazine, the most common reason why people catch feelings for their hookup is because of sexual frustration or desire. So in reality, you didn’t catch feelings for the person you hooked up with, you caught feelings for the sex. Now, if that were to turn into something more, it could end up getting messy because it wasn’t built on a stable foundation of emotional connection.
2. Accept the reality
This is essential. Even before you try to get over them, you have to accept the reality that it wasn’t anything more than a hookup.
Accepting your reality is one of the best decisions you could take for yourself and your future. So don’t lose precious time over one person, you’ve got so much more life ahead, live it and meet new people.
3. Let go and look to the future
Once you’ve accepted your reality, you can make peace with it and start planning your next move (whether that’s meeting someone new or taking some time for yourself). Although it might seem tough, turning your attention to the future might be the best for you in this situation so that you can move on and make space for new experiences.
Remember! Letting go doesn’t have to mean ghosting them; you can still be open, honest and respectful about your plan to move on.
3 ways to turn a hookup into a relationship
- Take a risk
It’s like learning to ride a bicycle, you have to take a risk to learn something and get whatever it is you want. If you’ve caught feelings for your hookup and you know the feelings are real, just go for it.
Nothing’s going to happen if you just sit and wait. You have to build up the courage and ask them whether they want to go on a date or if they like you. Just be yourself and that bravery could just sweep them off their feet.
2. Get to know each other better
How well do you two know each other? The two of you only know each other because you’ve had a physical relationship, so it could be that you don’t know much about them at all. If you’re serious about turning it into a relationship, you have to really get to know them and they have to know you.
What you’ve got to do is at least start talking to each other on a deeper level. Get past only talking to them for the occasional booty call and the late night, ‘hey, you up?’ texts. It’s a long way to go and it’s going to take some time. But if you’re okay with being a little patient, just know that it’s going to be so worth it in the end.
3. Take your time
Just like in any normal relationship, it could take some time before the two of you hit it off. Both of you have to get comfortable with each other in a different way than you’re used to. Get close, connect more and let that friendship slowly turn into a relationship.
Compare it to baking a cake. The process involves a lot of hard work, coordination and a LOT of patience. In the end, you’re glad you put the effort in because the result makes you feel all warm and happy inside. So, let time play its part and don’t force it. Just go with the flow.
Don’t forget, no matter what your feelings are towards your hookup, make sure you’re staying true to yourself and doing what feels right. Don’t be scared to go a little outside of your comfort zone. Who knows, you might end up finding your soulmate.