There is one secret that makes for a good sexual experience and enhanced intimacy; foreplay. Actually, it is so important that it is linked to good sexual health in both men and women. Foreplay is like the appetizer before the main course. It supports building up sexual tension and arousal, facilitating penetration or oral sex.
In this article, we will explore what foreplay is, why it supports intimacy, and how it is linked to sexual health. You will also discover some tools and techniques to increase intimacy with your partner(s).
Are you ready? Let’s dive in.
What is foreplay?
Sexual foreplay is a series of teases and touches to get the machine working before penetration or oral sex. It is also an aid to slowly transitioning into a more sexual mood and increased libido.
For some, it looks like five minutes of kissing, tongue teaser, or finger play. In this case, foreplay is just a quick warmup before sex and sometimes it’s not enough to set the mood or there are no sexual health benefits there.
When more time is dedicated to foreplay, it has the power to increase intimacy, maintain long-term libido and prepare the body for an enjoyable sexual experience. Longer foreplay has also more health benefits such as a decrease in life stressors, an increase in blood flow in the genitals, stronger erections, a more lubricated vagina, and an increase in sperm quantity.
How long should foreplay last?
While there is no specific duration for foreplay, taking your time and going slow is often recommended to send signals of respect, trust, or simply passion.
Some people tend to dislike foreplay, preferring the instant gratification of penetration. Long-term couples too, tend to skip foreplay, leading to decreased intimacy and relationship struggles. And when men think they want to shoot inside right now (pun intended), they are shooting their feet, slowly killing the long-term potential of their sexual relationship and increasing erectile dysfunction. And without foreplay for women, a dry vagina is what awaits them.
When you skip foreplay or you don’t take the time for it, you will hear more and more things like “I’m not in the mood for sex,” “I’m too tired,” “Not tonight…” Do these things sound too familiar? Then, this can be prevented when you integrate intentional foreplay into the sex equation. Remember, you’re not having sex alone but with another person who probably needs to warm up. However, with intention, one can remember to prioritize foreplay and avoid future struggles.
How to build sexual tension?
Think of foreplay as a warm-up before sexual exercise. It’s essential for women to lubricate enough without damaging their vagina and for men with erectile dysfunctions or premature ejaculation to experience less performance anxiety and ease into love-making instead of tensing. Now how to foreplay? Here are some foreplay tips and ideas.
There are two sexual poles in individuals: the genitals and the brain. Very often, when we think of foreplay, we only think about things we can do to the body to get it aroused. However, there are two types of foreplay and it is essential to start arousing the brain first.
Foreplay starts way before the bedroom and you should arouse your partner a few hours before sex by sending unexpected sexy and flirty voice memos or text messages.
Alternatively, if you are near your partner, you can smile, gaze at them, bite your lips, or simply watch an erotic movie together. Some good movie suggestions are Fifty Shades of Grey, Ghost, Basic Instincts, Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, Blue is the Warmest Color and Killing Me Softly.
Now if you’re the more active type, you can also be very direct and state clearly to your partner what you want to do to them. You can seek inspiration in erotica (or ethical porn) if you are short on ideas so that you learn to boost your erotic imagination and turn yourself on at the same time.
Alternatively, you can ask your partner questions such as “What do you want me to do right now?” And then zip it and let them blush or answer the question. Building anticipation will awaken the erotic power of your partner.
Warm the body up
Foreplay is not only about teasing the brain or the genitals. It’s also about activating the erogenous zones of your partner and there are plenty of choices.
Some foreplay ideas include making sure you’re kissing properly and include some sucking, licking, and biting to add an extra touch of eroticism. You can tease the genitals with these simulations too.
Women have the chance to be highly activated through breast stimulation. You can play with your partners gently as part of your sexual foreplay. Sometimes it also works on foreplay for men, while it is a bit more complicated.
The ears are also another erogenous zone that most people tend to forget. Please do not blow air in your partner’s ears! If nobody has ever told you, know that it is not always a pleasant sensation. However, you can shush in their ears, like a whisper activating sexual ASMR.
The nape of the neck is another erogenous zone that most people tend to forget. Kissing your partner there or gently blowing some air can lead to chills in the back and strong activation of the genitals. A good foreplay tip for women is that the inner thighs are highly sensitive to stroking, touching, and licking. We mention this because women are especially sensitive to this area, so something to remember!
Set the mood
Lastly, setting a space adapted to love making is also part of foreplay. You can light some candles, play some nice and slow erotic music, run a bubble bath, and invite your partner in. If they accept, you can gently massage sensitive areas such as the breasts and thighs or simply give them a foot or head massage.
Once in the bedroom, you can put on some nice and fresh linen and invite your partner to lay down next to you and gently stroke them.
Foreplay as an intimacy booster
If you want to enhance intimacy, there is a method called Karezza, or bonding-based lovemaking that is an intimacy booster!
You simply lay down next to your partner and look at them, rest with them, and cuddle them, without penetration and without having end-goal orgasms. You can stay naked body against body and let oxytocin, the love hormone, rise through your body.
The Karezza method has been developed based on the premise that orgasm is like a drug; it hooks your brain and your body to want more while building more tolerance to it. With time, the physical sensations you experienced at the beginning of your relationship dissipate leaving you dull and disconnected from your partner.
With the Karezza method, you can increase intimacy and take the pressure out of the act of sex. Most people experience an increase in their libido when they implement Karezza in their life.
Now that you know the importance of foreplay, go ahead and intentionally include more of it in your love-making experience. Remember penetration is not a must and there are plenty of things you can do to enhance intimacy with your partner while promoting good sexual health.
Disclaimer: #Dating’s blog posts are for you to view at your discretion, and the sexual health insights presented are for general information only. It is not intended as medical advice and readers should seek professional guidance if appropriate.