Dating can be tough. It gets pretty nerve-wracking, especially when it comes to getting into a relationship or staying in one. Everyone needs a bit of help. Whether you’re new to dating or a serial dater, you’ve probably heard a lot of dating advice from friends, family, the internet, movies… But let’s be honest, not every piece of advice is worth listening to! Let us help you navigate the confusing world of dating advice by highlighting some tips you should probably think twice about.
Dating advice that will probably ruin your chances with someone
1. “Your perfect match is out there, just wait”
You’ve probably heard it a thousand times: your perfect match is out there, you just have to wait. Well, the thing is, your absolute perfect match probably doesn’t exist, and if you wait around for them, you might stay single for longer than you’d hope.
Get out there, go on dates, and don’t just wait around to be chosen. Find your soulmate, sure they might not be your ‘perfect’ match and not check every box on your list, but all people have flaws and that’s part of what makes us special and unique. It’s all about finding someone who makes it all worth it.
2. "You’ll feel a spark when it’s right”
Some people do indeed feel a sensation or a ‘spark’ when they’re around certain people, which makes them think that they’re ‘the one’. But often, that’s just not the case and it causes a lot of people to end up being with someone they don’t actually want to be with. Maybe they mistake the spark for lust or the spark fizzles out quicker than expected.
You can’t just hope that one day you meet someone on the street and you instantly know that they’re the one for you, despite what you see in the movies! Instead of waiting to find that feeling, create that feeling with someone. The feeling of working on the relationship together and seeing your relationship flourish as a result is truly magical.
3. “Be mysterious"
This is one of the most common pieces of dating advice people give out. There are hundreds of articles online that teach you ‘How to Be Mysterious’ to attract people (there’s even a whole 13 step wikiHow). So it must be good advice, right? Not really.
Trying to act secretive and not giving your date any sign of who you really are is probably either just going to annoy them or make them lose interest. Always show someone a bit of who you really are or however much you feel comfortable with. You’re trying to make them fall in love with you, not solve a mystery.
4. “Love hurts”
Love is a beautiful thing. It makes us feel happy and warm inside. If being in love is genuinely hurting you mentally or physically, that’s just not right.
It’s okay to fight and argue from time to time, that’s perfectly normal in any relationship and we’d be surprised if you didn’t. But that doesn’t justify someone’s actions that truly hurt you and drain your energy, no matter what anyone says. Remember: your happiness should be the number one priority in your life.
5. “They’re out of your league”
Judging whether someone is good for you based solely on whether they look better or worse than you is just not the way to go. You can never know if someone is going to be the one you spend the rest of your life with unless you give it a shot.
You might either face rejection or end up finding your future love, either way, you don’t know until you try! If you’re finding it hard to face rejection, here is how rejection could actually be your first step to success.
Build up the courage, get out there, be confident, and never fail to at least give it a try. You might be surprised how far it will get you.
6. “It’s okay to lie on your dating profile”
Do you like being lied to? Of course not, no one does! It’s not wise to lie on your dating profile; a relationship is always fueled and pushed forward by trust and honesty from both sides. If you lay the foundation for that trust with dishonesty, it gets you off to a bad start.
Whether it’s just a harmless white lie or something big, a lie is always a lie regardless of if it’s before the relationship starts or while you’re in one. It will affect how you two see each other and cause trust issues. So just don’t lie, show them who you really are and you’ll get someone who likes you for YOU in no time.
7. “Wait 3 days to call back” or “Wait till the 3rd date to have sex”
This is a piece of advice you should definitely just lock in a box (and then throw away the key) because it’s just terrible. First off, making someone wait 3 days just to get a call back is not cool and makes you seem a bit mean. People hate being left on read or getting ghosted, so don’t be that person. Treat people how you’d like to be treated!
When it comes to having sex, it’s completely up to the both of you to decide whether you want to do the deed on the first date or wait a year. Putting an exact date on when it should happen, as this advice suggests, can make it lose its magic. Regardless of when it occurs, it should always be consensual and feel right for everyone involved.
So, how many of these have you heard before? We hope you’re now better equipped to recognize bad dating advice when you hear it! If you’re looking for even more dating advice that actually works, discover more articles on our blog and make sure to download our #Dating app to help with all your dating and relationship needs.