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Beyond 50 Shades: Exploring Common Sexual Fantasies

Close-up lover‘s bare feet under a curtain

Fantasies are a normal part of sexual health, and you can explore any of the sexual fantasies that you’ll read about in this blog post. Talking about your fantasies with your partner could bring you closer together, and your partner might even be interested in fulfilling some of them!

By definition, sexual fantasies are any images, stories, or thoughts which turn you on. Maybe you just like thinking about it, but maybe you’d like to try it for real. Either way, there’s nothing wrong with it, even if you have some sort of taboo fantasy. It’s okay to explore your sexual fantasies, and as long as you have a consenting adult as a partner, anything that gets you off is just fine.

To begin, when you want to talk to your partner about your fantasies, you can start by saying that you had a dream that really turned you on. If you’re uncomfortable giving them sex fantasy suggestions, referring to it as a dream can help you bring it up in a conversation. This can help you both learn more about the type of fantasy that you’d like to explore. Have a conversation about boundaries and decide on a safeword before going further. Even if you’ll have the most vanilla sex, consent and boundaries are the most important part of your and your partner’s safety.

But what if your partner doesn’t like the same things you do?

Talk to them about what they’re open to trying. You can even make a yes-no-maybe type of list and see if you can find a compromise. For instance, maybe there are some aspects of what you want that they would be comfortable with trying out. While not everyone would agree to BDSM, gentle teasing with a feather or ice while blindfolded could be a fun game that most people would agree to.

Even if you can’t find a middle ground, it’s important to share your sexual fantasies with your partner. They should know what rocks your boat, and it’s likely one of the common sexual fantasies from the list below.

10 Most common sexual fantasies

While you may think that you have a taboo fantasy that doesn’t align with your personality, your fantasy is probably more common than you think. Don’t forget that your private thoughts can’t define who you are as a person and it’s okay to fantasies about any of the following things that most people find arousing:

BDSM or rough sex

Couple in love looking at each other's eyes on the bed

Ever since Fifty Shades Of Gray, BDSM stopped being a taboo fantasy and became normalised as one of the common sexual fantasies. This bestselling novel made us all aware of how many women enjoy being dominated.

Even pain can be extremely hot, and millions of people that enjoy spanking, whipping, biting, or bondage can confirm this. Often, people that have to be in control outside of the bedroom like to be dominated in the bedroom. Whether you enjoy being dominant or being dominated, talk to your partner, agree on a safeword, and make a game plan. Both of you must know what’s going to happen to stay safe and make sure that the acts are consensual.

Multiple partners

Young trio hanging out and laughing on the bed

Even though BDSM is extremely popular, there is a taboo fantasy that is even more common, but less talked about. This is having threesomes, foursomes, group sex, or orgies. Non-monogamous sex is the top fantasy for many men and women. While men often fantasise about having sex with a lot of unknown women at once or cuckolding, women often fantasise about sex with other women in a group setting.

If this is just something you like to think about and keep to yourself, that’s okay, and you don’t need to overthink things. But if you would like to use this as one of the sex fantasy suggestions and try it with your partner don’t hesitate to open up. Establish boundaries and talk about whether you’d like to involve a stranger or a friend in your sex life and whether this will be a one-time thing or an ongoing arrangement.

Sex with strangers

Couple passionately kissing on the bed

There seems to be something incredibly hot about anonymous sex that makes many people have dreams about sex with a total stranger. You don’t know anything about each other so there’s no pressure or responsibility. It’s hot and flattering when a stranger wants you despite not knowing you, and you don’t have to worry about getting attached.

You could pretend with your partner that you’re two strangers who just met, but there are also parties where you can sleep with consenting strangers. However, if you just want to imagine meeting a hot stranger and having a crazy one-night stand, that’s okay. There are some fantasies that you want to do, some that you want to try with your partner, and some that you just keep to yourself.

Sex in public

Young couple making out in public

Parks, bathrooms, and alleyways are common places high on the list of many who like to have sex in public. A lot of couples feel that something is exciting about potentially getting caught. However, don’t forget that you could end up in legal trouble if you do end up being discovered. Even if you don’t want to make it real, sex in public can still be a fun fantasy to explore in your mind.

Although if you would like to have public sex with your partner, you could use your own or private property to safely try out this fantasy. Having sex in a new room in your home, in the shower, or on the kitchen counter could be an exciting and different experience.

Many people also fantasise about unusual locations, but these don’t have to be public places, even a hotel room can offer something different. These sexual encounters outside or somewhere unfamiliar can make fun memories and stories.


Heterosexual people often have fantasies about sex with people of the same gender. They can even occasionally engage in sex acts with people of the same sex and still identify as heterosexual. This is okay too, it’s normal to explore your sexuality.

While some people identify as only straight or only homosexual, many are somewhere in between. Even though they don’t identify as bisexual, they occasionally feel attraction or engage in semi-sexual acts with the same gender. As already mentioned, some people will also explore this fantasy about being with the same gender by engaging in sex with multiple people at the same time.


Young couple trying some sexy poses in the night club

Roleplay is pretending that you’re someone else, and it’s often used to help fulfil other fantasies such as sex with strangers or BDSM. Popular roleplays include student-professor fantasy, boss-employee, and nurse-patient fantasy.

Thinking about costumes now? If you like to dress up as someone else, this is called cosplay. Although cosplay is not necessarily sexual and often refers to dressing up like famous characters from movies, books, or video games, it can be used in sex.

Exhibitionism or voyeurism

Common sexual fantasies include watching unsuspecting people having sex, and this is called voyeurism. It is more popular among men, but some women also have these sexual fantasies.
On the flip side, you could be turned on by the thought of someone watching you having sex, and this is called exhibitionism. Watching or making your own private amateur porn videos could be a way of fulfilling these fantasies without involving unconsenting people and possibly doing something illegal in your country, such as public nudity.

Sex with someone a lot older or younger

Turns out, a large age gap can be a turn-on for a lot of people. While some fantasize about someone a lot older than them, others fantasize about someone a lot younger and both men and women can have either of these fantasies. Being turned on by younger people is often considered a taboo fantasy. However, as long as they are consenting adults, there’s nothing really wrong about this.

In fact, a younger person can be turned on by the possibility of the older person teaching them new things and occasionally acting assertively. The older partner sometimes communicates their delight for being able to pull a young hot partner, and this can also be a turn-on for the younger person.

Sex with a celebrity

The freebie list is the list of five celebrities that you can sleep with if you get the opportunity, despite being in a relationship. This term has been coined by the popular TV show Friends, and it can be a fun game for you and your partner, especially if you fantasize about sleeping with celebrities. Since it can feel awkward to fantasize about someone you know, a lot of people turn to their celebrity crushes. It’s no wonder since most celebrities have above-average looks, and let’s not forget that money, fame, and power can also be big turn-ons. While you might not get Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman to sleep with you, nothing’s stopping you from roleplaying this fantasy with your partner.

Romantic or sensual sex

Young couple romantically playing

Fantasies are not always dirty or rough. Sometimes, you are turned on by the thought of cuddling and making love in a romantic place, or you get off on the thought of getting a sensual massage with a “happy ending”. Even candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach can be major turn-ons and fantasies for some people.

Maybe you fantasise about romantic sex with your partner. What romantic means to you can be anything, from slow and sensual play to involving elements of BDSM. Maybe you dream about Tantric sex instead, or you just fantasise about a romantic location.

Thinking about something a lot dirtier than what you read about so far? As long as it’s between consenting adults, it’s okay! Common kinks and fetishes also include foot fetish and anal sex. But even if you’re into something less common than any of these things, know that it’s normal to fantasize. Talk to your partner about the fantasies that you want to explore, and they might make your dreams come true!


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