Between Zoom calls for work, and meeting friends and family online, a virtual date would probably be the last thing on your mind.
Zoom fatigue is real and we’re all feeling it too. Being on a video date can be draining because you need to compensate for absent physical cues. To appear friendlier, you might find yourself smiling or nodding a lot more.
Lags and tech glitches can be stressful, especially if you don’t know which end it’s coming from. The self-view also probably makes you extra conscious of how you’re coming across to your date.
After a few tough years, some of us may also be feeling a certain sense of blah. Best-selling author and organizational psychologist, Adam Grant calls this feeling languishing, where you feel joyless and aimless. He attributed this feeling to the uncertainty of the pandemic conditions.
With these combined emotions, it’s easy to see why virtual dating gets hard. But, we want to assure you that it does and can get better.
If you need the motivation to go back to virtual dates, here are some benefits to virtual dating to change your mind:
1. It gives you a preview before the real thing
We all probably have a dating story or two where we went on a date that did not turn out to be what we expected. Or we might have been catfished by a date pretending to be someone else.
A video date would help prevent such situations because you can see what they’re like before meeting in real life. If they don’t seem to be who they say they are, you can politely decline a real-life date and move on.
2. It requires less physical effort
If you want to keep things simple, all you really need is a decent top, and a working laptop or phone. You can roll out of bed and into the date within a matter of minutes.
3. There is less pressure on both parties
If you’re feeling nervous before the date, the other party is probably feeling the same. Because a virtual date requires less physical effort, there will probably be less pressure from both parties to bring their A-game.
The date will probably be more relaxed for both of you, and you’re likely to have a better overall experience.
4. You get an easy out
Forget trying to get a friend to call you with an ‘emergency’ or sneaking out via the back exit. If a date goes bad and you start to feel overly uncomfortable, all you need to do is click ‘leave the room’. It’s that simple and straightforward.
However, if you do accidentally exit due to technical issues, remember to quickly log back on or text your date. In case they think you pulled a fast one on them and write you off.
5. It is cheaper
Along with requiring less physical effort, virtual dates are likely to be low-cost activities as you’ll likely do something online. Dating virtually doesn’t just mean chatting on Zoom. In fact, we too have some ideas on how to turn real-life activities into virtual dates.
6. You save time
Without the need to physically travel to a location, you inevitably save time. For those of us who lead busy lives, all you really need is to set aside one hour to see if your date is a yay or nay.
With shorter time spent on bad dates combined with the ability to weed out those who you find incompatible quicker, you’ll hopefully also be able to meet more people and find someone to settle down with sooner.
7. You get to focus on actual conversations
Virtual dating allows you to get to know someone better first without physical intimacy and sex getting in the way. If you’re looking to be in a serious relationship, starting off in the virtual dating phase could bring about deeper conversations leading to deeper emotional intimacy.
8. It’s just the two of you
Without the distraction of a busy restaurant or the dynamics of a group setting, you get to concentrate on building the relationship between you two without external parties weighing in.
Sometimes some of us might feel lost because we’re used to having our best friends suss out our potential partners but use this opportunity to cut out the fluff and get to know each other better. Your friends and family can meet them a little later when you’re certain that this is likely to be a #long-term relationship.
If you find yourself getting frustrated with virtual dating, here are some practical steps you could also take:
- Schedule breaks ranging from a few days to weeks between virtual dates to build transition periods in so you don’t build up your frustration.
- Journal your experiences – what you liked about them, and what you didn’t, to see how you can better your experience the next time you decide to go on another virtual date.
- Ask your date if they’d be open to switching off their cameras after the initial introductions to reduce online dating fatigue and to reduce the need to feel like you need to always be camera-ready.
Whatever your stance on virtual dating is, and despite the potential frustration it can bring, there’s no denying that there are plenty of benefits to virtual dating. So give these tips a go and remember to have fun!
